Lets first start with my story..

 

I found myself in a marriage where my partner needed mental help and was subsequently abusive (which both counts were included in our 730 evaluation & Court Order). Despite pleading with both her and her family on too many occasions to address the issues that ran through multiple generations of her family, I decided that with my son soon turning five and one final act of abuse on her behalf that the time was neigh to finally pluck up the courage to leave and later file for divorce. 

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Whilst I knew that, based on who my partner was, the exit was going to be challenging I didn't immediately file as I wanted to give her the chance to have a fair divorce. She obviously didn't choose this path and so 2 years later we finally had our day in Court and sure enough I won full legal custody of our child and she had supervised visits of only 8 hours every two weeks for nearly a year and a half. 

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During this time I met my now wife who is truly the love of my life and who has her own beautiful child who's a couple of years older than my son. Fast forward two and a half years; we're married and all four of us are living under one roof. Though the custodial plan has changed (its now 50:50), we're now in the phase of our new normal.

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To say its been a journey would be an understatement. But the point is is that I've been there. I've got the dad t-shirt. I've got the divorce t-shirt. I've learned a lot. Sure I've made some mistakes (like don't let her move out of county thinking that the process 'won't take too long!'). There have been tears of joy and of sorrow. Feelings of loneliness & fighting the urge on countless occasions not to give it all up because frankly, what is the point?! Frustration at the process and the institutions that are designed, but more often than not fail, to help protect the young and the truth. But throughout it all I kept saying to myself and my support team that I can't be the only person in this position and how can all these crappy experiences of mine, truly help someone going through the exact same turmoil. So Dads of Divorce was born. Its going to start off as a pure merch store that is designed to give a ray of sunshine, or frankly just a wry smile, when you see the mug you're sipping out of and the silly slogan about your judge or the "D"word or whatever. As there are times when I needed this. Whether it was my then 6 year old on his zoom classroom during Covid or juggling work, therapists, school, sports, court dates his social life... my social life!! Sometimes you just need to look at the bigger picture and think to yourself.. everything will be alright.

 

I found myself saying 'happy dayz' a lot, hence the Happy Dayz foundation (HDF) will be established that aims to use 10% of all profits from DOD to better the lives of divorcee dads. A team will be established on our 2,000th order when we will start taking in applications for distribution of funds. This could be sponsoring a local DOD event. This could be simply paying a few hours of a DOD in need's legal fees. It could be a lot of hours. It could be whatever the community wants it to be and will grow exponentially with DOD to the betterment of DODs around the world. 

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Finally, our overall objective alongside the Happy Dayz Foundation & the betterment of DOD's is to reduce the negative stigma of divorce. Whilst we're never going to advocate or celebrate divorce unnecesarily as frankly, two healthy, loving, married parents is clearly always the best case scenario. We also recognize that not all relationships are any of those things. And when they're not, it should be recognized and if all attempts to fix the core issues have been exhausted then divorce is a legitimate option. Not necessarily a negative one; and it is this point that we want to highlight and frankly have a little fun over. Why not wear your divorce proudly? Why not display some details of it that may lead to a conversation that may help out a DOD going through something you've experienced? Why not help out a friendly DOD or frankly an MOD (mother of divorce) in need if you can rather than feel bad about openly sharing your experiences. Hence the DOD cap was born. 

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We are excited to welcome you into the DOD community!